A real woman doesn’t have to throw dirt on other women to feel more secure and better about herself
I opened up Pinterest on my phone and typed in quotes about jealousy. This one hit me hard. Attending an all girl school, considering myself a feminist and getting pride when I see a female succeed make me who I am as a female. The quote rang a bell deep inside my heart, which ricocheted all the way to my thoughts. It made me want to defeat that green monster, we as people try to avoid.
Mean and Green
There’s a monster. Ferocious, fearsome and harmful to humanity. Green and ugly to the core, this monster has an unpredictable temperament and it can approach any one of us without a warning. It’s silent.
The monster waits to spring. It waits until your at a low, then it reaches into you, taking your body as it’s host. It overtakes your ability to think straight. To be rational. It attacks your ability to be conscious with your decisions. Your ability to stay calm. To breath. Your thoughts are no longer yours. They are in the monster’s green, greedy grasp.
For a while you’ll be in flight mode, like an iPhone on a Airbus A380 taking flight. Other passengers of life surround you but you’re grounded, being held to the possible lowest of lows by the green monster.
She got the boyfriend. He got the job. They got the tickets to the concert that you couldn’t afford to pay for. The monster notices the pang of emotion and feeds off it. Small bites. It’s barely noticeable.It builds stronger from the thoughts you think, and begins to release possibilities of reactions into your mind from the emotions you create from these thoughts. It finds a reaction you dislike. That isn’t you. It begins ‘operation envy’. It turns you into a side of yourself you’ve never even seen.
Jealousy doesn’t have to win. You have the option to create your own responses and feelings. You have the opportunity to create your own destiny, your own outcome.
What thought started this? What fed that monster inside you? Pinpoint and break it down. Did someone beat you? Did someone get what you wanted? Did you fail while they succeeded? If you pinpoint you can cease back the power. You can take control of the green monster, and banish it back to the pits of your stomach where it belongs. You know, behind the bacon you had for brekky today – Yummy!
Take it by the reigns and redirect the jealousy. That envy that’s building bit by bit. Alter your response by changing your thought process. You won’t want to lash out, you won’t want to cry into your pillow while you watch Damon Salvatore in a Netflix binge – It was one time, I swear. You won’t give up! You’ll keep fighting for what you want, what you believe in. Whether it be that grade, that job, or that concert ticket. Use the emotion as fuel to the fire. It’s your own body’s version of petrol – just cheaper and environmentally friendly.
Think humbling thoughts. I like to say ‘be humble with a little touch of Kanye‘ it’s a motto. Be gracious but confident. Tell yourself thoughts that you believe, so you’re not bluffing yourself.
Tell yourself your turn will come. Your day to cease may just be tomorrow. Remind yourself of what you already have or trust that this is all part of a big plan.
That green monster will shrink back into the shell of which it came from. Hidden in your library of emotions. On the shelf beside anger and frustration. When you feel it start to leave the shelves you created for it, repeat the thoughts. Create a mantra; ‘My day will come’, ‘I need to wait my turn’, ‘I can be happy for them, and believe my happiness is yet to come’. Find a quote and put in your view daily so that you can remain gracious and grounded. So that the success and pride of others doesn’t blur what you want. Find the good. Find the possibilities. Don’t give the ‘what if’s’ or the ‘buts’ a chance to lure the monster out of it’s cage.